Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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