my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Randomize
