i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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