so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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