Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
