Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
