this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
