Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
