Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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