It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
