your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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