it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Randomize
