that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
