There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
