Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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