Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
