He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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