How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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