i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
