I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
