as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
