they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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