I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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