All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
