in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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