I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My dick has a subreddit
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
