I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
