i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
