Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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