Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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