with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
