You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
