Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
