I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
