Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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