Jerry, you need to find god
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
