It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
