Define "chronic" masturbator.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
