it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
