U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
