I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
