1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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