will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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