Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
