We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
