I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
