This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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