Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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