where am i from again
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
