apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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